Pornstar kristel moreno graces the cover of fhm pinas for april 2010

FHM this month pops Kristel Moreno’s laddie mag cherry. As it turns out, the genes that make her hot are the same hottifying magic shit that used to turn slaves out of men for Alma Moreno, a close relative.

And in the interview I managed to ninja-browse in 15 microseconds, Kristel reveals she likes men who are psychics (”gusto ko kahit hindi ko sinasabi sa kanya na may problema ako, he finds out anyway”), talks endlessly like an idiot douchebag (”gusto ko salita sya ng salita”), clowns (”he can do something to make me smile”), guys who don’t take a bath ever (”gusto ko yung parang madungis”), and she wants to rape Jericho Rosales, like, totally. Ah, such are the passions of one Kristel Moreno, and we know as a fact every  fits the creepy bill. Thanks, Kristel, for giving us a nice thought while we stroke the monkey

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